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One good laugh equals a ton of rhetoric

Tales from the dump
with Walt Humphries
Friday, June 13, 2008

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Aye folks, it warms the cockles of me heart that so many people read this column and that they find it interesting, informative, insightful and sometimes even entertaining.

I certainly don't expect everyone to agree with me all the time. That would make for a pretty boring world.

Besides, I know that I am like everyone else and am occasionally mistaken. Life is after all a learning experience and if you are never wrong, you never learn. I only wish that politicians and other leaders, the people who litter and create other ecological problems, would take my ideas as seriously as some readers apparently do.

A few years ago, I suggested that if all levels of government held their meetings outside and naked, it would speed up the debates considerably and it would probably make the meetings more entertaining.

Just try to imagine the entire House of Commons naked, outside on the parliamentary lawn, debating the taxes on widgets and you get the picture. According to some physiological studies it is harder to lie when naked. I still think that this idea has some merit although no politicians have taken up the cause yet.

Every year the city pays non-profit groups money to clean up the winter's accumulation of litter around town. That cleanup has been completed for this year. So any litter you see now is there to stay, unless you or someone else stops to pick it up.

I happened to notice a lot of litter on the roadside between Jackfish Lake and the Visitors' centre across the road from the Niven Lake subdivision.

When I questioned the city about this, they told me that was territorial land and it is their responsibility to clean it up. It is interesting that the dirtiest part of town is now the part owned by the territorial government. Maybe they should take a little break from their debate on budget cuts and reducing jobs to clean up their own back yard. It might clear their heads a little. Here is a thought: could the city cite the territorial government for having an unsightly lot in the city?

Last year I suggested the city could solve the litter problem by passing a simple law that is well-founded in our judicial system.

It is illegal to leave the scene of an accident, and an accomplice to a crime is as guilty as the person who commits it.

So, if we passed a law stating it is illegal to walk, jog, bicycle or drive by a piece of litter without stopping to pick it up, the city would be litter-free in a couple of days and the bylaw would earn more for the city in litter fines than from parking fees.

I have been writing about litter for years and I am glad to see people are finally starting to take litter in the city seriously. Litter is a symptom of a bigger problem and it is also the cause of a lot of other problems. People who wouldn't grind a cigarette out on their living room floor think nothing of throwing one on the sidewalk.

People who wouldn't smash a beer bottle on the wall of their home think nothing of throwing one from a moving vehicle. Others who wouldn't dump a half-full food container on their kitchen floor think nothing of dropping one in a park, picnic area or on a city street.

People should care more about public places and the natural environment than they do about their personal environment. I am willing to propose drastic measures to help them along.

How about a law that anyone who drops a butt on the ground should have a garbage can full of butts dumped in their living room, lit or otherwise?

Let's face it - not all ideas are equal. Some are better than others, but until you put them out there, you just never know which ones are going to catch on. So whether you agree with me or not doesn't matter as long as you at least think about it and if you are entertained in the process, so much the better.

My rule of thumb is that one good laugh or thought-provoking idea equals a ton of boring rhetoric. Have a good day and thanks for reading this.

- Walt Humphries is a well-known Yellowknife artist and prospector