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It was "almost" Halloween night. To adults, almost can be a brief moment but to little kids, almost can be an eternity. Some of them were already dressed in their costumes, sitting and waiting for their parents to finish a dinner that seemed endless.

At Bobby and Billy's house their parents said, "We don't want to be the first to start trick or treating, so until other kids start coming to the door, we are not going out." So Bobby and Billy sat on the couch, wearing their costumes, arms crossed, staring at the door, hoping and praying that kids would start coming.

To Bobby, who was the oldest, there was an inherent flaw in his parents' judgment. What would happen if all the parents in the city had the same philosophy? It would be the Halloween night that didn't happen, because all the adults would wait until someone else got started. He kept quiet though, because he had learned that parents didn't necessarily understand logical thought and sometimes didn't appreciate having their own illogic pointed out to them.

If you were near the dump you could hear some yawns, stretches and sighs as the dump monsters came to life. This was their night to roam the streets of the city to protect the children and to chase people who littered. It was a double role that they took very seriously. When you only work one night a year, you are bound to take it seriously.

There was a time, not all that many years ago, when parents just turned their kids loose by themselves to canvass the neighborhood for treats. They weren't worried about drunks, weirdos, drug addicts, perverts or worse. In those days kids got treats like apples, homemade cookies, fudge or the ever-popular popcorn balls. Some houses gave out candy kisses or penny candy by the handful. Dentists particularly liked the candy kisses, because they would inevitably rip out a few fillings and cause a post-Halloween run on dental services.

Alas, those days are gone and we live in a different era where parents worry about letting kids out by themselves and where homemade goodies are taboo. Maybe we should try to bring back those days. Also since everyone is getting modern and health conscious, here is an idea. Why not give kids vegetables for Halloween? Carrots would be ideal because they are orange, tasty and nutritious. They are often on the sweet side and basically tamper-proof. What kid wouldn't be thrilled to get an organic carrot for Halloween? For those who really don't like carrots you could offer them a chuck of cauliflower, a couple of Brussels sprouts or a handful of spinach leaves.

Now here is a cautionary tale for the kids. When I was a wee lad out trick or treating with a friend we went to one house, knocked on the door and shouted "Trick or treat!" The wise-ass adult who opened the door said, "OK, let's see your trick and it better be good or no treat." We weren't prepared for this because no one had ever asked for a trick before. Thunderstruck and dumbfounded, the only thing I could think to do was swallow a little air and burp.

My friend had this trick where he blocked one nostril with a finger and huffed and puffed with the other to create a weird whistling sound. On a cool fall night, certain fluids also tend to collect in the nasal passages and this night he even blew a couple of bubbles, which added a certain "je ne sais quoi" to the trick. We both got some treats but apparently some teenagers who didn't weren't amused and egged the house after midnight. In those days egging was considered to be the height of the teenage hijinx.

The moral of the story is watch out for the tricks and watch out for the treats. Have a good Halloween and say hello to the dump monsters, if you see one.

- Walt Humphries is a well-known Yellowknife artist and prospector