I was doing some outside carpentry on one of our displays when I hit my thumb with a hammer and that really hurt.
I wanted to vent but there were some people milling around and I didn’t want to swear, so I said rather loudly “Oh ptarmigan feathers, that hurt” as I shook my thumb because, for some reason, that lessens the pain. And if you have ever hit your thumb with a hammer, and who hasn’t, you will know what I mean.
I like the words ptarmigan feathers because they have a Northern connotation and if you have ever plucked a ptarmigan inside of a tent, you will know the feathers get everywhere. People laughed a little and I felt slightly better because sometimes a little laughter can dull the pain slightly.
It’s a rather simple method to substitute some nonsensical words for swear words. You get to vent but not embarrass or offend people’s sensitivities. I worked with a young fellow one year named Bill. He had graduated from high school but decided to spend a couple of years travelling the country and doing odd jobs before returning home to start four years of university. Unfortunately, he had picked up the bad habit of swearing a lot.
I explained the substitution method to him and he decided to give it a try. He chose maple syrup and Heinz ketchup. His swearing dropped off considerably once he got the hang of it. So, if you ever hear some oldtimer yelling “maple syrup,” say hello to Bill for me.
The other night on a British TV show, I heard the expression “flaming Nora.” It is an old, rather unusual expression of dismay or disbelief. Imagine that you are crossing the street as a car loses control and almost hits you. You could shout, “Bloody Nora, that was close.” You are vocalizing your shock but not exactly swearing. If the bloody part bothers you, you could always try flaming, flipping or frigging Nora.
Just for the heck of it, I decided to look up its origin and it turns out Nora is not a person’s name but comes from the word horror, which is pronounced with an English accent Hor-ah and somehow ended up as Nora. Languages often do things like that.
So flaming Nora is just an expression used to vent, but it has a nice ring to it, so I have been known to use it on occasion. In America, particularly the southern and western parts of the US, people use the expression “What in tarnation was that?” It’s often used with tarnation being a substitute for damnation, so people were venting but not exactly swearing. Another expression they use is dang nabbit, which of course rhymes with rascally rabbit.
That is part of the trick to venting but not swearing. You choose a word or expression that doesn’t have to make any sense but makes you feel slightly better saying it. “Hard boiled eggs” is another good expletive alternative you could shout, or “Shut the front door.”
A friend I worked with had three young kids. Out in the field if something went wrong, he was apt to say, “Oh poopy bum.” I thought that was a very clever phrase because it wasn’t swearing but it did convey an image of distress.
Personally, I think the North could use a few more colourful expressions that convey displeasure or some obscure meaning. Make up your own and see how it works. Also, I think the North could use some more interesting or colourful words or expressions. Things like: It was so cold even the rocks were shivering, or the sundogs are dancing a jig.
Language can be a wondrous thing, just like the Gold Range on a Saturday night.