When Connie Benwell began planning Fort Smith’s first LGBTQ+ awareness supper, her hope was that the event would help educate people in town about their lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, queer and two-spirit neighbours.
In the end, the event was much more significant than she originally expected, as a couple got married inside the host Salt River Conference Centre on the night.
“We’re so excited,” said Mark Moberly, who tied the knot with his partner of eight years, Russell Selfie, at the event.
“It was so good and beautiful,” added Selfie.
The LGBTQ+ awareness supper ran from 3 p.m. to 6 p.m. on Saturday, March 23. Promotional material for supper promised good food, music, and guest speakers, as well as a “surprise event” – Moberly and Selfie’s wedding.
“I decided to do a supper, and I hired a caterer, and thought what else can I do besides get speakers?” said Benwell, who works for Salt River First Nation. “Then I remembered that my friends Mark and Russell wanted to get married, but they didn’t know how to, or how to go about it. I thought it would be a good opportunity to put [it] in this event, so I approached them and asked them, ‘Are you guys still thinking about getting married?’ And they said, ‘Oh yeah, we just don’t have the money right now.’ I told them, ‘I have a plan,’ and I told them what I was thinking of doing and they were so happy.”
For Moberly and Selfie, it came together “perfectly.”
“We’ve wanted to get married for the last couple of years now,” said Selfie. “Then the evacuation and all that happened so we kind of put it off to the side. Thank goodness for Salt River and Connie. She’s the one that got us all together.”
In addition to Moberly and Selfie’s wedding, the supper featured a speech from Fort Smith Mayor Fred Daniels, whose daughter is a member of the LGBTQ+ community.
“I just wanted his input on how it was when she came out and how he felt as a parent,” said Benwell. “He spoke for quite a while, and there was stuff that people didn’t know, and it was interesting to see the reactions.”
Benwell admits she was initially “nervous” that nobody would show up, but was ultimately very satisfied with the attendance, as roughly 40 people attended.
It was a reassuring sign, as there is not as much discourse about the LGBTQ+ community in the North as there is in other parts of the country, she said.
“Some people didn’t know what it was. There’s not many people talking about it.”
Moberly and Selfie even admitted to having some reluctance about getting married because they weren’t sure how people would react — though they have since been pleasantly surprised.
“I was always worried that people are going to judge me and say stuff about me, but it’s been so beautiful,” said Selfie.
“Nobody judges us at all,” added Moberly. “Not a thing.”
Benwell said she’s aware of several other LGBTQ+ couples around Fort Smith, and is pleased to see that those people are comfortable staying in town rather than moving south, as they might have done in the past.
“When I was a younger girl, I saw that two-spirit people were afraid to come out of the closet, so they would go south,” she said. “Now more people are just staying in the North and living their lives.”
That is something of a return to normal, according to Benwell, who noted that two-spirit people were respected members of many Indigenous communities long ago.
While Fort Smith’s first LGBTQ+ awareness supper only just passed, Benwell said she hopes to organize other events like it in the future, and encourages more people in town to attend, whether they identify as part of the LGBTQ+ community or not.
As for those who do identify with the community, Moberly and Selfie encourage them to be true to themselves.
“Continue loving yourselves,” said Moberly.
“Stay strong and be yourselves,” added Selfie. “It doesn’t matter what people think.”