After earning the title of runner-up five times since joining the Mediocre Golf Association (MGA) in 2019, Kevin Hewitt is now on top of the world, or the mediocre podium anyway.
“Five times the bridesmaid, and Sunday (July 17) I was finally the bride!” said Hewitt in response to his victory at the MGA’s F.U. Open. “My strict dry-land training is starting to pay dividends.”
“Six hours a day, seven days a week, I’ve dedicated myself to winning on the MGA tour,” he added. “I’m on top the leaderboard and have become the hunted.”
The F.U. Open, a parody of the U.S. Open, is a part of numerous “play on words” tournaments hosted by the association such as the Bastards (the Masters).
However, the ‘F.U.’ in F.U. Open is likely not what you think — the letters actually stand for ‘Freedom’ and ‘Unity.’
As for the event results, it was a tight finish as Hewitt ended with a score of 89 while Sheldon Keenan was only one stroke behind with a total of 90.
Third place went to Jason Langer, who posted a score of 93.
Even though it was highly competitive, Hewitt says he wasn’t concerned about Keenan overtaking him.
“No, (I) wasn’t too worried about Sheldon. He is a rookie on the MGA tour year. He will need to put in his time before his day comes!”
Hewitt also earned the Gross Award, which is awarded to “the medio who shot the lowest gross score (the score before any penalty strokes are added) on the day,” according to the MGA.
Hewitt took home a purse of $1.35 for his first-place finish.
In his concluding comments, Hewitt gave thanks to the organizers involved, while also jokingly stating that he looks forward to “many more giant cheques.”
Though all of the MGA’s tournaments are for fun, those that go for the gold — like Kevin Hewitt — will have a chance at playing with the other top MGA players in Las Vegas come this November, as the association exists across Canada and the United States.
“If you want to go to the World Championships and it’s your first year, you play five tournaments,” said Shaun Morris, president of the MGA’s Yellowknife chapter. “If you’ve been in the league, you get to play a minimum of three tournaments, but the money list (how much players win on tour) also counts to where you play when you go to the World Championships.
“So, because there’s like, usually 400-plus people that go to it, they can’t fit everything in one course,” Morris continued. “So the main tournament will have anybody that finished in the top 10 in their chapter money list. And anybody that didn’t finish in the top 10 would play in the secondary tournament, which is called the Born Harry tour instead of the Korn Ferry tour, like in the PGA.”