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Comment: Columnist Walt Humphries on fad fashion and fancy pants

The headline shouted:
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Columnist Walt Humphries sounds off on puddle pants — no, not the water proof ones, pants that are designed with extra long legs so the fabric puddles on the ground around ones feet. Photo courtesy of Walt Humphries

The headline shouted:

CROPPED TROUSERS ARE OUT PUDDLE PANTS ARE IN

I was drinking my morning coffee and getting caught up on the internet news, just in case anything major or earth-shattering had happened while I slept.

I do have an app that show me all the earthquakes, as they happen, all around the world. Not only is that impressive technology it demonstrates we live on a rather geological active planet—I guess that counts as earth shaking news. But cropped trousers vs puddle pants seemed an odd headline.

Some people may not consider Yellowknife a fashion capital of the world, but a lot of people here like to be on the cutting edge of fashion and keep up on all the latest trends. I was curious about this great, raging debate.

My first question was, what the heck are cropped trousers and would cropped pants look any different? Probably not because pants and trousers are basically the same thing. In England they are more likely to be called trousers and in America, pants. Pants and trousers are a lot like jeans, except not as comfortable or versatile. The cropped part refers to cutting them to length. That seems simple enough and something I have been doing my entire life.

In the bush, if you get a new pair of jeans, you try them on and crop them to the proper length, using your hunting knife to cut off the extra material. Or if you want to get fancy, you turn up a hem and sew it. A lot of people who live and work in the bush are quite good sewers because they repair their own clothes and gear.

You want the jeans length to be short enough so that when you are walking around, the end of the pant leg is not going to drag on the ground or get caught on something. That seems simple and logical enough.

Puddle pants, which seem to be becoming a fashion fad, actually have a whole bunch of material on the end of your pants legs so that it covers your shoes and drags around on the ground.

Why?

Apparently, its fashion and fashion doesn’t have to make any sense. They are called puddle pants because if you wear them on a rainy day, your pant legs are going to drag through mud, puddles, and worst. They are going to get wet, heavy, waterlogged and more than a little dirty.

An article about puddle pants indicated a lot of celebrities and influencers were embracing the puddle pants look and so, if you want to be part of the in-crowd, you should rush out and buy several pairs.

They did point out that if you plan on embracing the look, you will of course need several pairs of them, because you can only wear them once outside before they need cleaning: If you walk around wearing them outside, you are sweeping the floor and sidewalk. If you know what all resides on city roads and sidewalks and that’s a big dirty EEEWWWW involving dog poop and human waste of all sorts. The article suggests that a well-dressed puddle pantster would need ten to twenty pairs of them.

Also, despite the name, this pair of pants is not meant to be worn outside if wet because you would have a big, wet, heavy mass of fabric around your feet and ankles trying to trip you up.

Because they are fashionable, they are also rather expensive. Apparently, it costs a lot of money to be fashionable. It also involves a whole lot of waste, because they will end up in the dump when the fashion moves on to something else and all that washing uses a lot of water and energy.

A classic case of fashionable waste.

Let’s face it pants, trousers, and jeans are cropped for a reason.