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Tales from the dump: no horses

Ever get the feeling that the world has gone a little crazy? Well don’t feel bad because you are not alone and a whole lot of people feel that way. Mind you, if you look at history the world has always been a crazy old place but sometimes its craziness, is certainly more noticeable. Like it is now.
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“Way back in 1970” columnist Walt Humphries was staying in a hotel in a northern Ontario town. “On the back of the door in each room was a sign with some of the hotel rules. Apparently, one was not allowed to bring a horse into their room.” It didn’t say anything about the size of the animal. Photo courtesy of Walt Humphries

Ever get the feeling that the world has gone a little crazy? Well don’t feel bad because you are not alone and a whole lot of people feel that way. Mind you, if you look at history the world has always been a crazy old place but sometimes its craziness, is certainly more noticeable. Like it is now.

Big governments and bureaucracies tend to move at glacial speed. So, our government in a way is moving at 1922 efficiency and working with rules and laws established in 1822. So, no wonder things seem a little crazy.

Way back in 1970, I was staying in a hotel in a northern Ontario town. On the back of the door in each room was a sign with some of the hotel rules. Apparently, one was not allowed to bring a horse into their room. If you had a gun it had to be on safety and unloaded. Also, a little note that there was a knotted rope by the window tied on to a radiator and this was to be used as a fire escape in case of an emergency.

I presume that the horse in your room rule had been put in before automobiles were invented and became popular, when on some cold winters night someone decided to bring their horse into their room. It didn’t say anything about mules, dog teams or even pet bears. That’s the way laws often work. Someone tries to bring a horse in, so they make a rule about horses. Until someone tries to bring in a pet bear and they ignored that possibility.

As for guns in one’s room, it seemed like a reasonable safety precaution that they are not loaded. I suspect it came about because someone had a mishap and accidentally discharged their firearm, maybe shooting themselves in the foot while cleaning it. Now I know some urban southerners are going to be a little unnerved that people would have guns in their rooms, but we are talking about the north and the only hotel in town.

It was used by traveling police officers, wildlife officers, pilots, trappers, hunters, prospectors, bush workers and wilderness guides. All of whom might have a gun with them because most bush camps have a gun, in case they need to deal with a marauding bear or a rabid animal. Also, the gun was for survival in case one needed food or had to use it as a signaling device in case someone got lost or turned around in the bush. So, when these people travelled, they often had their gun or guns with them. No big deal. A gun was just another necessary bush tool.

Now I know some people are going to laugh at the fire escape, a knotted rope, but it was a whole lot better then what we have now which is basically nothing. Think about that for a moment. Also, this was an old wooden building and if it caught fire, you probably had several minutes to get out. In a building 30 or 40 years old you have maybe ten minutes. In a new building you have 2, 3, maybe 4 from when the fire starts. So rather than making things safer the government with their rules have made things much more dangerous.

It’s not the fire that kills most people it is the toxic smoke which comes from all the rugs, drapes, plastic furniture and items in the building. They are made from oil and once they get going, they create billowing clouds of toxic smoke and an incredible hot fire which is very difficult to put out. So maybe having a knotted rope by your second or third story windows is not such a bad idea. Also, one should have smoke alarms so at least you have a chance of getting out because you don’t have very long to do it.

So, we need to move our way of thinking and our rules out of 1822 and 1922 and try living in a 2022 world. I have no idea if that old hotel I stayed in is still standing or if the sign on the back of the door is still there. Probably not. The fad today is to have a little map showing the escape route, assuming you can find it in the billowing smoke.