So the latest venture of how we have one last chance to save the world is about to get underway in Glasgow, Scotland as COP26 kicks off on Oct. 31.

That’s when a bunch of people flying in on private jets and then driving around in idling limousines will get together to lecture us about how we should be doing our part to stem this climate crisis thing. The hypocrisy of it all is my favourite part and is perhaps the biggest reason why I don’t listen to anything these people say. Like I’ve said before, someone please set a doomsday target so I know when to prepare for the end. Is it 12 years? Nine years? 10 years? Next week? Tomorrow? In the meantime, I’ll just reduce, reuse and recycle.

Anyway:

Busted

Vaccine passports and/or mandates are the way of the world now, it would appear, and that means you must show your papers before doing almost anything. The National Hockey League is one organization which does not have a vaccine mandate but unvaccinated players must quarantine if they want to play in Canada.

Enter Evander Kane of the San Jose Sharks. Kane showed his proof of vaccination to the league prior to the start of the season and was ready to play. Just one problem though — his vax card was fake. Kane’s act of stupidity has now cost him 21 games worth of playing time and roughly $1.6 million of his $7 million salary this season. The money will go to the NHL’s Player Emergency Assistance Fund, so at least there’s a silver lining in that.

Kane won’t be able to play again until Nov. 30, at the earliest, and you have to wonder: did he actually think he could get away with it? The NHL Players Association released a statement on Kane’s behalf where he stated that he’s awfully sorry for his misgivings but he took responsibility for it. That’s the one good thing I read — at least he didn’t try to pass it off on someone or something else, which would be expected in a situation like this.

You only hope Kane has learned from this and if he’s going to try a stunt like this in the future, maybe the conscience will kick in.

If you’re gonna go …

You know those fans who love something so much that they’d do anything to show reverence? I’m not one of those people but there are humans who will buy anything and that includes custom-made caskets.

Yes, Joe Stacey of Hendersonville, Tennessee has several pine boxes up for grabs for you to be placed in during your funeral. Whoops, I meant celebration of life. There’s a Dale Earnhardt special, complete with the black outer coating, the logos and the big no. 3, a reminder of those days crushing cases of Schlitz during the tailgate at Talledega. That will run you $2,000. If NASCAR isn’t your thing, you can get the Atlanta Braves, Smokey and the Bandit, Tennessee Titans … if you can think it, Stacey could probably make it.

All we need now is for those loved ones who have passed on to talk to us from the other side through technology while you lay there. Oh, wait …

And finally …

Good Idea: Helping out your teammates.

Bad Idea: Helping out your teammates taking a two-minute minor in the process.

I have never seen this before and, if I’m being honest, the creativity alone should have kept Matthew Tkachuk out of the penalty box.

It happened on Oct. 18 when the Flames hosted the Anaheim Ducks. Tkachuk was on the bench as the puck was heading for the seats. Now, if you know the rules of hockey, any puck which leaves the playing surface courtesy of a player flipping it over the glass — intentional or not — means a two-minute minor for delay of game, unless it’s deflected over. Seeing that the Flames were about to go a man short, Tkachuk instinctively stood up and swatted the puck down, stopping it from going out of play.

Didn’t work, though, as Tkachuk was handed an interference penalty for the deed. I personally think it was brilliant but, yes, those are the rules. And there’s no fun of any kind allowed.

Until next time, folks …

James McCarthy

After being a nomad around North America following my semi-debauched post-secondary days, I put down my roots in Yellowknife in 2006. I’ve been keeping this sports seat warm with NNSL for the better...

Join the Conversation

1

Your email address will not be published.

  1. Do you know Kane personally?
    Do you know he has an addiction etc? I have met him a bunch of times when I worked at the arena in Wpg. He personally is a great person down to earth would help out anyone. Wasn’t thinking he was better then us like others. Does he are mistakes yes he’ll we all do. But saying his latest bout of stupidity is a little overboard. He is paying for what he did and we should support him with his issues and addiction not belittle him. Stories and comments like yours make issues worse its a form of bullying and its disgusting. You should be ashamed of yourself.