Editor’s note: Catherine Lafferty is writing a series of columns on the Dene laws. This week’s installment is on the fourth of the nine laws, which is: "Be respectful of elders and everything around you."
She's written this column in honour of Isadore Tsetta.
I have a good friend who told me not long ago that her end goal in life was to grow up to become the best elder that she could be in her community: Glowing, healthy, wise and of course well respected.
Her words really stuck with me. I had never given much thought into growing older and becoming an elder myself but my friend truly believed that her life’s experiences were preparing her for her most important job of all, elderhood.
There are no elder-in-training programs but it is often quite humorous to say that and so is an "elder-in-training" when they reach a certain age, usually around their mid 50s. I’ve always wondered what makes a good respectable elder. Becoming an elder is not celebrated with a right of passage ceremony. There is no clear way to say to someone, "Congratulations, you are now an elder."
Elders do not receive a certificate, there is no appointment, no minimum age, no grand ceremony welcoming a prospective elder into their new role. Rather, it is a gradual process where a person is considered an elder after having trekked through the many seasons of their lives, becoming experts, mastering the Dene laws with patience and practice throughout their journey and gaining valuable wisdom along the way.
A very respectable elder in my community passed away recently and even though I did not know him very well I still went to his funeral and found that I could not hide my tears. I cried, not because of my own grief, but because I could see that he was such a vital part of our community. He would be missed by so many people that respected him, as they told stories of his remarkable life acknowledging the importance of his journey while he was on Earth.
Some of our elders have lived very long lives. They are still living today even after being alive to witness the early days of the treaties, the establishment of the trading posts and even before colonization in the northernmost communities. Some of us are very fortunate to have had the opportunity to hear firsthand about what life was like in the "olden days."
But do we take the time to ask about their experiences? Do we sit with them and listen? Do we ask them important questions so that we can be keepers of that knowledge after they are gone?
It is customary in Dene culture to pass knowledge on orally, often through the art of storytelling and not so much through the written language. This is why it is that much more important to spend time with our elders, so Dene traditional knowledge will not be lost.
Elders have an eloquent, unique way of telling stories. They tell them over time. They hold a world of knowledge in their hearts and their hands and they share these teachings gradually, piece by piece, often telling the same story in many different ways so that the right people can hear it at the right times and process the wealth of knowledge they have acquired.
When they become elders themselves, they will be able to pass the teachings on through the generations. It is a beautiful thing that the Dene have in the way that we are taught to hold our elders in the highest regard. Our elders are important to us in many ways. They keep our languages, cultures and stories alive. They are the gatekeepers of our sacred medicines and traditions.
The Dene law that talks about respecting our elders is a traditional practice. It is a strong principle yet some elders do still experience abuse in the communities and are not respected by their own family members. They are strong, yet delicate, and susceptible to being taken advantage of which is why we need to look out for our elders and take good care of them.
Like my friend that wants to live to become a respected elder, I’ve realized that I do as well, and so I will try to live out my life in an exemplary way.
I wear my pink flowery scarf around my neck today but one day I hope to have lived long enough to proudly wrap my silk flower print scarf over my head and tie it under my chin like my grandmother did, signifying that I have had the blessing and good fortune to celebrate the arrival of elderhood.