My son Gage kicked his drug habit while living with me in Inuvik. But when he returned to Ottawa he relapsed.
Heroin is not easy to quit. Gage got hooked after an auto accident. He started taking legal painkillers and then graduated to street drugs. This was when the opioid epidemic was in full swing.
My son did great in Inuvik. He got a lot of support. Recovering alcoholics and addicts need support from their family, friends and their community to stay sober. When Gage relapsed, I was very worried. Then he called me and asked if he can come back North and give it another try. I said, “Great! C’mon up.”
By this time, I was living in Yellowknife. I warned Gage that Yellowknife was not Inuvik. It’s bigger and more bureaucratic. In Yellowknife, he would encounter many roadblocks. Gage was in for a rude awakening. This is part five of Gage’s story.
I was very happy when my son called. I breathed a sigh of relief. Relapse is part of the recovery process. Very few addicts or alcoholics quit using on their first try. But the problem with opioids is a relapse can be deadly. This is because of fentanyl. Fentanyl is a very powerful opioid and very deadly. The drug epidemic in Canada was getting worse. It certainly was getting worse in Yellowknife and right across the North.
In Inuvik, Gage quit drugs for four months. But after many years of drug abuse, lasting change does not come so quickly. Four months is not a lot of clean time. As a counsellor, I knew it would take more time. Recovery is not magic. It certainly takes more than a weekend retreat, a two-week healing camp or even a one-month recovery program. These programs are all a good start. But they’re just a start.
I’m a recovered addict. Recovery is a long process. Recovery is not simply stopping drug use or putting the “plug in the jug.” Recovery is about creating a whole new lifestyle. Recovering addicts need something positive to do. In recovery, we need to disconnect from non-supportive partners. We need to build connections with supportive friends. We also need a safe place to live. When Gage left Ottawa and came North, he was safe here. It’s funny because this is the reverse in the Northwest Territories. We send addicts south to start their recovery in a residential program.
Trouble finding help
Gage got lots of support living with me in Inuvik. He worked full-time at the Home Hardware. He liked his job. Whether they knew it or not, everyone he met was supportive in such a small town. Gage had no friends there who were used hard drugs. He didn’t hang around bars. He didn’t go to parties to get stoned. We went together to the many healthy community events. No booze. No drugs. But we had fun. All that support ended when Gage returned to Ottawa. Without supports, relapse was almost inevitable.
Recovery is also a full-time job. It’s hard work. That’s why they say in Alcoholics Anonymous, “It works if you work it, so work it.” If you don’t do the work, recovery has no roots. It will be short-lived. When Gage went back to Ottawa, he fell back into his old rut. He moved back into his downtown apartment close to the drug dealers. He did not have a job. He hooked up with his old group of friends. Then he went to a party. Guess what happened? No surprise there. Gage set himself up for a relapse.
Before Gage left Inuvik, I told him he was always welcome to come back North. My door was open. Gage knew what he had to do. He knew he had to try again. That took courage. Addicts and alcoholics don’t need to let a relapse get in the way of recovery. But Yellowknife is not Inuvik. After Gage arrived, he had tremendous difficulties getting help. He ran into a bureaucratic brick wall. Gage literally walked in circles from office to office trying to get the help he needed. He needed medication. He needed medical help. He needed an income.
I knew exactly what he was going through. I knew about the bureaucratic roadblocks. I worked in that bureaucracy. People in offices mean well but it’s a confusing maze of ever-changing rules and regulations. One day Gage would be asked for certain documents. The next day he was told he needed different documents. That’s was discouraging but it’s the reality.
My son would come home angry and frustrated. I saw him struggle with his emotions. He was in withdrawal. He felt like giving up. Thank God he had a safe place to stay. At the end of the day, he had a hot meal and a place to unwind. I was there for him. I listened. I supported him. Without a safe place, he could have easily ended up on the street. Or he could have ended up in a hospital bed. That’s expensive.
My friends and co-workers in Yellowknife were supportive. This included my new employer, the Roman Catholic diocese. Everyone was accepting, and non-judgemental. Maybe the Catholic church made mistakes in the past, but in the present, they were doing everything right for my son. I thanked the Creator.
The Creator has a sense of humour
Did you know the Creator has a sense of humour? Gage was a recovering punk-rocker. For many years he sported a bright blue mohawk. It stuck out about a foot from his head in sharp spikes. He wore Doc Martin boots and lots of studded leather. He was a bouncer in a loud punk-rock bar. Now the former punk-rocker was hanging out with Catholic priests and nuns.
The bishop, my boss, was understanding and very supportive. Gage was not even a churchgoer. It didn’t matter. He was always welcome at their Sunday dinners. When he eventually found a job, one of his co-workers was a “tough-as-a-nut” Yellowknifer; a former party animal who became a devout Catholic. They all became friends. The Creator has a sense of humour. Hey, whatever works!
Another source of inspiration was Donald Prince. Gage met Donald just once, but he left a positive impression. Donald was a recovered addict and alcoholic. They both had something in common. Donald had many years of sobriety. In Yellowknife, he was the founder of the Arctic Indigenous Healing Foundation. He built the healing camp behind the Fieldhouse.
All these positive influences added up. They encouraged Gage to keep going. Recovery was still possible, even after a relapse. Government support was slow in coming, but eventually it all worked out. It just required patience. That’s a hard thing for addicts who expect instant results. After all, taking a drink or shooting up dope gets instant results. But in the real-world things take time. That is why it was so important for Gage to have lots of supportive people. He was not alone.
Gage got through the bureaucratic maze. He finally connected with a supportive social worker. He connected with a doctor and got the medication he needed. He got a job. Things were looking up. We bought fishing rods and went fishing. We went on hikes. We had dinners with various friends including the Catholic circle. We went to movies. Gage was having fun again. He was settling into a sober lifestyle here in Yellowknife. You heard right. Sobriety is possible, even in party-town Yellowknife.
Gage was back on track. I thanked the Creator. My son got a second chance. But would he continue making good choices? Would he give it enough time? Would he let the roots of recovery sink deep into his spirit? Or would he run and set himself up for another relapse?
Some very disturbing things were about to happen that would shake up Gage to his core. Part six of Gage’s story coming soon.